|Trends. Wont. Last.
||[Jan. 26th, 2006|02:42 pm]
I did not write this, I can't give credit to the person who did, because i forgot where i got it from, but take the time to read it|
love it or leave it or rip it apart.
"Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention toward the center ring, the center ring. AH, you see the shaggy hair and pretty eyes that shine with life. That’s right, life, soak it up and infuse your plastic existence with neon T-shirts and poetic phrases. Not that you’ll really get it at all. Here we have the latest trend, the coolest thing. They’ll sing the songs you like and keep you warm at night, that’s right—what’s that you say? You’ve never seen the appeal of androgyny and emotion? Ignore what you thought you knew, we’re telling you, we’re telling you—this is where it’s at, we stole an entire subculture to get it here. Open your ears, open your wallets—you’ve got to have this record. Why? We can’t say, but your attention, your attention, please, the center ring! Don’t let your eyes wander, you might miss the best part (or see the strings). The freaks and geeks and clowns and poets-- listen, listen! The lyrics? Well, no, we can’t explain them, but---what’s that? The bass lines? Well, no, we can’t hear that sound---Attention! Attention! I’ve got your magazine covers right here, look at that, the future faces of pre-pubescent dreams! There, there you have it. Those jaw lines you’ll imagine, fingers slipping past waistbands, those names floating off the edges of your lips as you—well, you get the idea. This makes you cool, this makes you hip, this makes you scene…yes, yes, a wet dream for the webzine—if we knew what a ‘zine was…but, quiet, please, quiet! The emotional acrobats have arrived! A question, a question, a question or two? Inquiring minds want to know. How do you-- those fetters are lost loves and crushed hopes, you say? Well, not too sure, baby, not too sure, let’s just keep it all one-dimensional. Next vapid and shallow inquiry is-- are you straight? Are you straight, are you straight…America bleeds red, friends, lets keep those queers locked up where they belong, eh? No, wait! Stop, stop, stop! Cut the tape! He can’t fucking wear that! It’s too flamboyant! NO! This is all wrong, all wrong! Wait, hold on. He’s skinny—we’ll let him show that pale stretch of stomach, and voila—in a couple of months, we claim he has an eating disorder---oh, a male with anorexia, the cash cow comes mooing home! NO! What’s this? Dressed like Hogwarts students and licking basses?? No, no, all wrong, all wrong! You’ve got to smile, smile, smile, smile for the kids. That’s right, hold on—center ring, again, teenies, center stage. No, ignore that they’re sweating and balancing life and art and soul and crying, crying, crying—trails of eyeliner aren’t tell-tale signs of overexposure or, God forbid, humanity-- it’s just a fucking fashion statement. Let the brainwashing begin. Repeat after me. Emo.Emo.Emo.Emo. Pop your polo collars, preppies, buy your Warped Tour tickets now. Repeat after me. I’m not okay, I’m not okay, I’m not o-fucking-kay, you wear me out. Crew-cuts have got to go, let that shag grow to the floor. Repeat after me. Repeat after me. Songwriting 101, pain rhymes with gain, waste rhymes with taste, girls and boys are no more than toys-- just don’t make it real, don’t let emotion swell, ignore the real point or you’ll go to teenage hell. Repeat after me. Repeat after me….oh, fuck it, time’s up. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, could I direct your attention to the left ring? Now, here, this is the NEWEST thing… "